From the Director's Chair: "Comic"

Today we have another interview with one of our rescued dogs... Comic - otherwise known to us as the "Unknown Comic"...


Linda:  So, Mr. Comic?  How are you today?
Comic (w/heavy Italian accent):  Oh, please... don't be so formal... just call me "Comic"

Linda:   That's an interesting name - how did you come by it?
Comic:   Frankly, I really don't know.  Humans are such STRANGE animals, ya know?  There I was... just walking along and BAM!, some stranger picks me up around my middle like the goomer really knows me... Like we grew up together in the old neighborhood, ya know?...

Shoves me into a truck and I was wondering what I'd done... Thinkin' I'd made the Bossman mad or something, ya know?... Don't think I was in trouble for stealing that ham sandwich I saw on the counter 'cause I blamed it on the cat... Rumblin' round in the back of that truck, the goober then puts me into a kennel run with other dogs... I hung around there for a bit, made eyes at some of the ladies across the way... And then you come along and said you were going to save me... Hmmm... 

Linda (bit annoyed):  That still doesn't explain your name, Comic.
Comic:    Oh that... Well, one of the TLC volunteers gave me that name... She said that everything I did was so funny, that I should have been a comic... And it stuck.

Linda:    How long have you been with TLC now, Comic?
Comic:    Let's see... It was after Tony went to the slammer... and uh... well, guess it is a year now.   Time flies when you do the time, ya know?

Linda (checking files):  Yes, we took you out of the shelter on 12/1/14.  It has been a year.
Comic:   And ya know?  You guys put that goofy hat on me last year, telling me it would win me a furever home and that Santa was listening... You shouldn't say things to us that are not true... Santa didn't hear me or didn't read my list...
Linda:   Maybe you should have been nicer to the cat and not eaten that ham sandwich?
Comic:   ((silence))

Linda:   So, Comic... What would make someone adopt you?
Comic:   Well, I like to cuddle and I also am the only dog that can walk inside of a cocoon.
Linda:   Huh?
Comic:   Yes, I like to wrap myself up in my blankee and sleep.  If I need a drink, why bother to unwrap myself... I just walk over to the bowl and get me a slurp, then walk back.  No need to take my fleece off and get cold, ya know?

Linda:   Is that all?
Comic:   What more does anyone else need to get adopted in this town?
Linda:   Probably more
Comic:   Well, I have a magic whistle.
Linda:   A magic whistle?
Comic:   Yes, a magic whistle.  I can hit your shoe with my whistle spray at least 2 feet away... I've been practicing that for a long time and my aim is pretty good.
Linda:    I don't think that is a good trick.
Comic:    Can you do it?
Linda:   No.  ((silence))

Linda:    So tell me, Comic.  What would be an ideal home for you if you had your pick?
Comic:   Hmmmmmm... Lets see... This time I think I would like my owner to be a guy... Someone that would think passing gas is funny or would enjoy when the grand kids come over and laugh at my tricks.  I'd like a guy I can go for a slow leisurely walk with and check out all the babes with, then come home, have a ham sandwich, crawl up on the couch and watch some TV.  Maybe take a nap... Or two.   

Then get up, stretch our legs and go practice our whistles outside by the back door... Maybe make up a little gravy for some pasta?  Little garlic bread?  Hey, maybe we can have a burping contest after dinner?  That would be SO COOL!  I just know my guy is out there, waiting for me to come into his life and share his bed... Too personal?  OK, scratch that one... 

Linda:   So there you have it folks... Straight from the 'Unknown Comic' himself... Now waiting for a furever home for over a year now...  Comic, give the folks one last pitch here... Sell yourself with that fabulous smile!

Zero tolerance for rudeness....

This month, I will be doing rescue work for 32 years, stating when I was 23 (which is now my daughter's age)... As I have gone through this journey in my life, I have developed a zero tolerance for rudeness by the general public... And the older I get, the less I will tolerate as well...

TLC as a rescue, celebrated its 4th year in June... We started out as holding mobile adoptions on Saturdays in Moorpark and 20 months ago, we took over the old pet store location in the Simi Valley Town Center after the previous rescue folded... While I used to get just a weekly dose of the general public, now I get at least 5-6 days of it and I have found that despite the vast amount of patience I have with dogs, my capacity to deal with the rude, general public has diminished rapidly... 

I was thinking about all of this as I was moving laundry from the washer to the dryer this morning about 3AM... I normally get up early, but because our washer at the rescue shop broke down last week (and although practically new, the folks who sold us the warranties on the machines now refuse to honor them), all of us TLC volunteers have been pitching in to stay ahead of the vast amount of laundry we generate.... 

Sunday morning at 6AM, I was at the local launderomat doing 15 loads and Sunday evening, I brought home 14 loads... Because my home washer and dryer is half the size of the rescue shop's, it takes me twice as long to do the same amount... So I have been cranking laundry here at the house, in between getting this done and doing that for TLC the past two days...

Every day of my life is like planning a military invasion... I get up early, immediately spring into the mental list of what needs to be done, how can I get it done was quickly and efficiently as possible, and so on... But doing laundry requires little mental time, so it tends to be a thinking kind of time for me as I fold fleece and towels this morning... 

In my mind, I am rolling through a recent incident at the rescue shop - a highly sought-after little itty bitty had numerous interested parties and one of the potential adopters failed to show up as agreed upon with her 6-year old so we could judge the energy level around a 2.5 pound Chihuahua... Waiting for two days, we contacted the next waiting application who drove in immediately and adopted the itty bitty... The next day, the mom showed up with her son and through a fit inside the rescue shop --- in front of her children and about 15 other people who were looking at our rescued dogs and puppies... 

'Threw a fit' as in made threatening statements in a VERY loud tone and after asking her to leave the third time, I had to advise the lady if she did not leave, I would be faced to call security and have her escorted out of the facility... Even today (three days later), I am amazed at the lack of tact, manners and craziness that transpired... There is almost a feeling of entitlement in some of the general public - they believe they don't have to follow rules or the rules somehow don't apply to them... I can't begin to tell you the things we have heard from the general public - most of the time you just have to shake your head and wonder what kind of upbringing they had... 

Two weeks ago we had three youngsters walk into the rescue shop (ages 9 to 12) and upon entering, one said in a loud voice, "THIS PLACE SMELLS LIKE SHIT!"... HUH?... If my momma had heard that come out of my mouth at that age, I would have had my mouth washed out with Tide and dish detergent!... We asked them to leave and a few minutes later, in comes the mom who starts arguing with a volunteer about asking the kids to leave... Stating there was 'no way her child would have made that statement'... Now, why would we lie about something like that?... What purpose would it serve?... We are trying to get dogs and puppies adopted here!

Recently a mom came in with her two small kids right before closing, and the child started projectile vomiting and moving forward until she had covered a 24' square space, littered with vomit and pieces of coleslaw, her dinner, etc... The mom did nothing but console her daughter - didn't apologize, didn't try to stop the child from screaming, crying or continuing to move forward and spew out more vomit... The mom didn't even bothering to help clean up... Three times I had to ask her to pick up her daughter and take her out of the rescue shop so we could clean up the mess... It was obvious she did not want to pick up her daughter and get vomit all over herself, but in the meantime, we volunteers are grabbing towels, mops, buckets, bleach, etc... 

And this is what we volunteers face day in and day out, just trying to save dogs' lives... Lives that are discarded into shelters to become 'someone else's problem' to fix, take care or try and save... 

 As the dryer was running and I now meandered back to my desk here at the house, I sat down and looked at the piles of things I had been working on before I moved laundry... I have both printers running, printing out forms we need at the shop and the scanner scanning documents needed for dog files... I am getting a spay run together for 10 dogs, which requires getting paperwork set up, microchips pulled and logged, attached to forms, etc... 

I noticed that as I am filing the spay forms, I have now processed 55 of these since July 9th... And already this morning, I have had to turn down 14 dogs and puppies in incoming emails that we do not have room for and are going to die today if we can't take them...There is just TOO darn much to do and too few of us who care about killing healthy, adoptable dogs and puppies!!

As I sit down at my desk, I am disgusted with the human species and am disappointed that I am still having to save dogs and puppies 32 years later from needless death... I am disappointed that many parents are not providing good role models for their children, and others in the general public that consistently exhibit rude and unacceptable behavior in the rescue shop --- such as OMG barking at our dogs (and wonder then why we ask them to leave???)... Did they not receive good training and politeness from their parents???

My list of things to get done today is long and as usual, I probably will not get 50% of it done... Even if the general public cannot pitch in and support No-Kill, the very least they can do is to practice good manners... I was reminded this morning during the folding of laundry, hearing my momma say in my head, "Linda Anne, you can't fix stupid", just as clear as if she was standing there aside of me... If you can't fix stupid, what do you do?