How do you even begin to put into words the emotions you feel after you have lost one of your pets?... There are no words to describe it... In 1969, a notion began that there are 5 stages of grief and loss (1-denial and isolation, 2-anger, 3-bargaining, 4-depression and 5-acceptance)...
There are still some folks around that believe you cannot hurt "as much" when you lose a pet as when you lose a person... To me, "loved one" may walk on 2 legs or 4 paws, but they are still loved ones to me... And while I don't necessarily subscribe to 5 stages school of thought, I am intelligent enough to know that not everyone handles loss and grief the same way whether it is a human or animal loss in their life...
In 58 years of life on this planet Earth, I have lost good dogs... And a few, GREAT dogs... I feel that I deal with death of dogs in probably a pretty balanced sense... I understand that it is the circle of life, and that sometimes it is best for Nature to take its own course... Overall, I am a pretty private person when it comes to grieving (or at least I try to be)...
There is not much anyone can say, right?... "So sorry for your loss" is about the best anyone can do... And I am pretty sure only time, and not words, heal better...
There are some startling images I have had of death that no matter how many years pass, the shock of it can still cause me nausea if I think and remember it... But for the most part?... Unless it is dead and gross (i.e. ants, flies, etc.), I am pretty good about handling death physically - it is the heart-part that can kick me to my knees (emotionally)...
Back in May, my Coconut developed an issue with one of her eyes and as she was only 11 years old, I opted to have it removed to save her life... The second eye started giving her problems and the past months, I have seen her slowly starting to go downhill...
We discovered she had congestive heart failure going on as well, so while our vet and I did everything possible to create a reverse in the overall decline of her health, it continued to deteriorate...
The past two or three weeks I had been questioning myself as to if I was trying to keep Coconut alive for me, or if I was being fair to her... Once the quality of life is no longer good, let alone great, I feel we are doing a disservice to these gentle creatures that bless our lives for just a small portion of our time on Earth... Needless to say, I was not ready to let her go...
I kept looking for that little spunk, tail up and 'Kibbles and Bits' run (even if only at 4 pounds) that I loved so much... Any sign, Lord... Just give me something to hold onto and know that I am doing right by this pudge-muffin of coconut creme...
Coconut passed away in her sleep on Sunday afternoon, surrounded by her buds and loved ones at home... I did not have to make the decision as the Lord decided to make it for me... Maybe He knew that I did not (yet) have the heart to make it on my own without His help...
I do not offer anyone any advice or suggestions for dealing with the loss of one of their beloved pets... I too am still trying to figure out the best way to prepare myself to handle the loss better... I have had great pets die suddenly and then some, like Coconut, wither away slowly... Neither time frame is easy for me to accept readily....
I have recovered both ways... I have waited a LONG time before letting my heart open to another dog (and was in borderline depression now when I look back) and I have immediately gone and redirected my grief into a more positive form of energy by fostering puppies or another dog... Having done it both ways, I can say that the latter is better than the former... There is something about that redirection that made the grieving process easier for me to get through, but that's just me...
I personally don't believe I am disloyal to my dog by redirecting my energy... And I also don't believe my great dog(s) would want me to be sad and alone either... You can't replace one dog lost with another one (even if they look somewhat alike) and it is not fair (in my opinion) to expect a different dog to do this for you either...
As I said, I cannot offer anyone suggestions or advice... The very most I can do is to share my thoughts and hope they help someone who is going through the same things in their life... As for the 5 steps?... I've done #1 already and could not share my loss immediately with anyone... I am not angry (just very sad) and miss that adorable little girl and her cutest ever mini-run... There is no bargaining going on, 'cause I know she is across the Rainbow Bridge and waiting for me... I am probably still working through #4 and am not at #5 yet... Until I have to close my eyes physically to remember her, her sweet kisses, how excited she'd get when I come home and jump around plus that mini-run, I won't be able to say I have achieved the last stage of loss and grief...
But tomorrow is another day and with each day, time does it's magic.
Pit Bulls get such a bad rap that I try and point out good things that happen with this breed... At the end of 2012 (the day after Christmas), TLC rescued a VERY pregnant Pit Bull with her 6 month old daughter... The report came into
Delano Animal Services that there was a 'mean and vicious set of Pit Bulls in the lemon grove by my house'... A TLC volunteer drove to Delano and saved these two - the mom was originally named "Lemoncello" because of the grove... Her daughter got adopted out almost as soon as we got her spayed and up to date on shots...
Lemoncello (to be renamed "Momma") had her 9 puppies two weeks later in the VERY small office in my home... It was a 14 hour effort with all family members chipping in to keep the whelping area dry and clean as Momma delivered her pups... One pup we almost lost and were it not for my husband's efforts with resuscitation and care, she would not be a healthy Pitty today...
Momma's puppies all became adopted right away and my volunteers kept turning down each adoption application we got on her... They wanted her to become a 'shop dog' and eventually she started coming home with me each night from the rescue shop... She's smart... REALLY smart... Each challenge I throw at her, she achieves and exceeds my expectations...
Now that you have her back story, let me share some more with you...
Not only has Momma traveled to Vegas to attend a Best Friends rescue conference, she has been an ambassador of the breed to MANY young children and folks afraid of this breed... She'll lick you to death given half a chance... A few of the TLC volunteers she absolutely LOVES, and spotting them from way off, she will get totally nuts with excitement and overjoyed with the anticipation of lovin' up on them...
We called on Momma to save a little puppy's life who needed blood transfusions.... I rushed this pup to our vet's office, convinced he would die before I got there with him and Momma...
I put Momma in a 'sit-stay' and she stood while they pulled blood from her artery in the neck and transfused the pup... As God is my witness, that pup was prostrate and near death... But in less than 10 minutes, he was up and howling, jumping around like all puppies do... The vet techs could not believe they did not need to muzzle Momma to get the blood drawn and then even more surprised with Momma's blood saved this pup from dying...
Now, let me share the fourth 'save' Momma has done... This 'mean, vicious Pit Bull' that she is... (being sarcastic here as I truly believe Momma knows she is helping other canines and people get over the bad rap Pitties get)...
A little over a week ago on Saturday, August 27th, one of the TLC volunteers let us know that her dear Fredo had been admitted to Conejo Valley Animal Hospital in severe straits...
He had some red blood-like bruises on his belly and blood tests confirmed that he has very low counts on platelets (14... and they admit dogs with under 70,000 for ER care)... Fredo was actually bleeding out internally...
At the time, they did not really know what was wrong with Fredo and were doing everything they could to save his life... They were treating it very aggressively and he continued to deteriorate...
Getting no better, the next day I suggested that Momma could donate blood to Fredo on the hope it would help... Eventually on Tuesday, August 30th, a blood transfusion became literally his last hope and we rushed Momma over for the donation of blood... Again, she was great and well-behaved... I truly do think she knows she is doing something good for other dogs... I really do...
And Fredo is a SWEET Schnauzer mix... Full of love and young - he's only 4 years old!... Very much loved by his fur-parents and has always received the best of care...
That afternoon they transfused only half of what was drawn from Momma and Fredo started perking up... He ate the fresh chicken his mom had brought for him...
Diagnosis? (per his mom)
Fredo has an autoimmune disorder that causes Thrombocytopenia which causes his own body to destroy his platelets. There is no known cause. It usually goes undetected until it becomes life threatening. Usually in younger dogs it's hard to find because they don't get blood work done as often. They admit dogs with low platlets at 70,000 and he had 0. He's really lucky to be alive. He has bleeding in his GI tract because of Meds or that the platlets can't clot the bleeding. Once in remission, he can start to be weaned off the Meds slowly and monitored closely within 6mo-year. It might come back "with a vengeance " but we are not going there yet.
Two days later on September 1st, according to his mom -
"Fredo has improved significantly!!!! The vet said they are having a celebration in the lab because he has 104,000 NEW PLATLETS!!!! Thanks to Momma for buying him some time and new medications he might be able to come home tomorrow! He's not out of the woods yet, but this is the best news we've had in 5 days. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.
And on September 2nd, Fredo was well enough to come home... He's on tons of meds and needs to take it easy of course... Even just moving around slightly,
our muscles do these little mini-tears, causing micro bleeding and if you don't have platelets or your body is not making them, the body's natural system cannot clot this mini-tears.
I have now joking referred to Fredo as being a 'Schn-itty' having been infused with Momma's blood (her mom was a American Staffordshire and dad was a Bull Terrier, according to the DNA we ran)...
We continue to pray and wish for good thoughts for Fredo...
BTW, Fredo's mom 'gives back' by doing all of the gorgeous photos of the dogs and puppies we rescue these past several years... And the TLC volunteer group is very much a family, extended and large, but all of us pull together when one member or their furbabies are in danger... I am grateful Momma has such strong, rich blood and she readily is willing and able to donate blood to other canines in need...
So the next time you see a Pit Bull, and immediately think bad thoughts of the breed, consider how many of these noble dogs are giving back ~~ and in BIG ways ~~ to others and the community...
I know Momma 'gives back' to me every night as she listens to my day and gets her pats and cuddles... 76 pounds, but tons and tons of heart and love for everyone she meets... I wish everyone would get these 'Momma blessings' that I do!
Love ya, Momma! ♥♥♥ Thanks for saving another dog's life! ♥♥♥
